We're expecting a UK election sometime within the next 12 months.

We will be standing.

Last night Ben, Trev and I decided to turn Sexyloops into a political machine when we created our Manifesto.

[1] Socks. This was Ben's idea; everyone has them, apparently, and where would we be without them? It's our intention that everyone who wants socks should have some; no one should be left cold and sock less. We promise to deliver a no sox tax and, as part of our campaign, we will be giving away free socks around the country.

Incidentally, Ben will be canvassing in green, wearing a sock.

[2] Free fishing. This was my idea. “Free fishing for everyone”. It's our duty to fish everywhere and it's why we're here (God confirmed this to me quite recently by the way, via email). It's also an important part of our conservation strategy.

I'll be canvassing in polyprops.

[3] World domination (obviously). This was Trev's idea, and a good one.

Trev will be substituting jackboots for his normal thigh waders.

Most of our foreign policy can be summed up with the words “just add water”. And quite a lot of it. We intend to turn Iraq into a large lake, for example, which will solve many of the world problems. (It's surprising just how many problems can be solved, simply by adding water, especially in – but by no means restricted to – the Middle East.)

Once elected, we intend to make the Swedish women's handball team our cabinet, which already has had good support from Trev. We haven't asked them yet, but we'll be offering them free casting lessons, so I'm sure they'll go for it.

Our official campaign slogan will be “sometimes it's good to fuckup”. Which in the case of both politics and flyfishing is quite apt. I'll be putting myself forward in Land's End incidentally – because I haven't been there before and would quite like to go.

God will be supporting our cause, also putting himself forward as a candidate. He'll be useful for implementing our foreign policies.

If you'd like to actively support “Sexyloops: The Flyfishing Party” then be sure to let us know. We're expecting a bit of a fight.

Cheers,
Paul

Related links: Vortex archives, The Board