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Interesting Fact

Interesting fact: there are two Las Vegases. Little tips like that is why I am here and should you choose to make a Sexyloops' trip-round-the-States of your own, then try to remember this pearl of wisdom.

Of course no one told me. No one said, “Paul, there are two Las Vegases”. No, I had to find it out by myself. I've actually been to Las Vegas before, Las Vegas, Nevada that is. So I know it pretty well and was fairly looking forward to it.

Why, I thought, I'll have a party! I haven't had a party in such a long time – at least not one I would call a party. I'll go to Las Vegas; there it is on the map. I can be there in a day. There will be dancing women, music and all kinds of excitement.

So I drove to Las Vegas, New Mexico.

For those of you unfamiliar with basic geography, Las Vegas, New Mexico and Las Vegas, Nevada is not the same thing. There is no “Strip” for example in Las Vegas, New Mexico; I spent quite a long time checking this out.

“Excuse me, Mr Mexican-dude: where's the 'Strip'?”
“The 'Strip', I need a party; dancing women, music, all kinds of excitement”
“Ah! The 'Strip', Las Vegas, Nevada? About 800 miles that way [pointing]”
*thoughtful pause*
“Where you from?”

Up until this point I had considered Americans to be quite well organised. I can see now that I was completely wrong in this assumption.

So anyway, I'm back again in Aztec. Aztec is on the border of New Mexico and Colorado. Here's another interesting fact for you: there are no good looking women in Aztec. Of course I'm here to fish, so it's not like I'm bothered by this or anything; I was merely pointing out that should you (for example) be looking for an attractive woman then don't come to Aztec because you won't find any.

In fact don't come to Aztec at all, there are already 60,000 anglers here all fishing for the same fish. And the funny thing is they're all wearing the same clothes; same coloured waders, same waistcoat (with zingers attached); it's like a business meeting. And they all drive clean cars. Obviously not proper flyfishermen at all. And the fish are tame! I actually had a fish swim around my feet this evening – I was wearing camo of course, so that probably explains it. And it also goes without saying that I couldn't catch him, but that's not the point.

It's been quite a week for me, what with all the server problems, but I think we're back on track now. Sexyloops weighs in at 1Gb and is now running on an 8Gb server. Well most of it, some of it isn't, such as the shopping cart. Why I don't know. Still, that won't stop us progressing, although it might stop you joining.

Something we've wanted to do for a long time now is some online Members' instruction. You know, hardcore video analysis, which is why I've been asking for videos. This week it's all about to happen. I've roped in two of the best instructors I know, Bill Gammel and Bruce Richards – neither of whom warned me that there were two Las Vegases, I might add – and together we've analysed some footage.

How much of this we'll do I don't know; it's taken us one year just to do one. So we're not exactly fast. Anyway, it's quite exciting and adds a new dimension to whatever it is we think we're doing here.

(I'm starting to smell by the way; I haven't had a shower in over three weeks – just in case you were interested. Life's like that on the road. Still, in only another two weeks I can have a shower at Bill's place. So that's something to look forward to. Normally it's not a problem, because I'd be wetwading, but Jess – a friend of Rick's – kindly lent me his waders. I bet he's really looking forward to getting them back now.)

So back on track, I've decided to invent a new cast. The last cast I invented was the Flipflop, which I named after one of my shoes. Back then I was having a nudge at Loop Tackle (in my own way). But this time I'm going to invent one for real. I'm going to call it the fuckup cast – naturally, it's a presentation one.

Here's how to do it: you make your normal everyday overhead cast but with one striking difference; you mistime the forward cast and come forward early. Now some of you may already be doing this: well done.

Done correctly the forward-moving rod will surge against the straightening backcast about midway through the stroke. Immediately you are thinking, “tailing loop”, but not so apparently, because according to some flycasting authorities a tailing loop has to result in a tangle. Fortunately your normal everyday overhead cast probably contains an element we will refer to as a “tracking dilemma”. This is to be encouraged.

The line will cross over itself (without touching) and land in a collapsed heap. This we will call the fuckup loop – so as to differentiate it from the tailing loop (which as we all know is a fault, whereas the fuckup is anything but).

Of course some of us, such as Bruce Richards and Jeff Barefoot and even Jason Borger have been throwing what they thought were tailing loops, but they were wrong according to many Board members. And I now fully support the Board in this decision, what they were really doing was the fuckup cast, only they didn't know it then.

Aren't we lucky that I had to foresight to invent this cast and avoid all future confusion? That's why I'm here, to make life simple for the little man.

Eric has seen this problem too, and said, “But Paul, how are they going to remember when to use the fuckup cast? Sometimes it may not be appropriate.”

And he's right – thanks Eric – and so we have made car bumper stickers to remind you and for those you overtake. We are sure that these will be very popular and we look forward to educating the masses.

life in the fast lane


Related links: The Vortex archives, Tailing Loops on The Board.

Essential Bush Skills

The start of any flytying good flytying sequence involves squirting The Light of Apgai on your polyprops
Both alarm and curiousity set in when the polyprops start melting
Putting the lid back on the jar to stop *that* happening again
The flytying proper is underway
Notice the composure, that's true class that is
A difficult bit, you can tell that from the vacant expression
Essential bush skills: the third hand
Notice my hat here, it's quite daring
Snip, snip
I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here, but it's cool
Trimming an oversize hackle that appears to have become trapped in the whip finnish manoevre
Delicate precision work, the hallmark of any good flytyer
A sexy catch...

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