Paul Arden | Monday, 26 October 2026
I managed to work myself into a short stint of depression last week. Fortunately I managed to catch it before falling into the abyss. When I was at University in Aberdeen I had two major depression incidents. The first time I didn’t know what it was. The second time I understood, but it was actually worse! I look back on this time as being really very fortunate. If it wasn’t for this, then I wouldn’t have spent a life of fly fishing and travelling. Well *maybe* not — you never know! I could very well have ended up an engineer or architect, living with four walls and a roof, maybe with grown-up children and divorced by now!
I don’t know if you’ve read Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky, but that’s about as dark as I used to feel! I had a difficult time getting to grips with the world when I was younger. Fly fishing was my escape.
I don’t want to go back over it again; the future really looks grim when you do. I do feel that we have a responsibility to try to create a world where future generations can live free, enjoyable and occasionally extraordinary lives. Without feeling oppressed – and living in a world without conflict. But I don’t think that’s the world we are currently creating. I thought it once was…
One of the other things about me, is I spend a lot of time with my thoughts. I live in the jungle on my own, 6 days/week. I know that many people like to fill their time with stuff so that they don’t have to think. Which is fine. But I really enjoy thinking. Before we wrote the flycasting definitions, I spent about six weeks doing not very much else but thinking about them. I’d be turning the definitions model around in my head while running or fishing, comparing it against other possible models and trying to bash them around with crazy obscure casts. Long distance running and fly fishing have very much in common by the way. They are both freedom from the world, where we can be alone with our thoughts.
And I’ve been listening to a lot of informed podcasts lately… on AI, the current US administration, the world’s ongoing conflicts, runaway climate change. Of course there needs to be an alliance of Middle Powers, with their own AI, their own defence, their own alternative to Starlink, and with free healthcare, education and democracy. And ideally, for me, with freedom of movement. This is not perfect – perfect would be all of the world involved – but it must happen. We can put our heads in the sand and hope that Trump is an anomaly, but that is just too dangerous the next time someone like him gets elected. But it’s going to cost a lot. And we already have riots in France because of the cost of living…
So it’s going to be very, very difficult. But not doing so, and relying on the US to always be a benevolent outward-looking democracy, is not enough anymore. And it’s not like they can’t do with some help right now either.
I’ve always had an issue with politicians in general, but there are undoubtedly some good ones, and even some exceptional ones. But unfortunately, not everyone is there for the right reason. It’s a job for people who care about others, not only themselves, but for everyone – and I mean everyone – on the planet.
It’s funny, the older I get the more I care. I think that’s the right direction. I see myself in everyone else. The things we don’t like in others are the things we don’t like in ourselves. When we stop seeing people as human, then there is a problem. Everyone else is simply a different version of ourselves. But many people don’t see this – and instead associate their own personal identity with groups. Which is unbelievably weird! I understand it; it’s tribal and was necessary for our caveman survival, but it doesn’t suit the modern world.
I believe that this group-seeking mentality, this tribal identity, that our brain evolved to have at a primitive level, is perhaps our greatest weakness. You are either one of us or against us. It’s football, it’s hooliganism, it’s ageism, sexism, racism, nationalism, my God’s better than your God (who doesn’t exist), it’s homophobia, it’s division, it’s the Nazis, it is politics. It’s any damned thing that involves collective identity. By its very definition, it is exclusionary. We even have it in fly fishing!
And this is a problem because it is so deep-seated in our subconscious, that most people don’t even know it’s driving them. It’s deep down, at a level where basic fear resides, which is no coincidence. In fact I’d argue that collective identity is the brain’s response to our deep and irrational fears. This is why people can be so easily manipulated into doing unimaginably appalling things to others. Or how else do you explain the Nazis? Or any other form of genocide participated in by your everyday person. How do you otherwise explain war even? Some things are undoubtedly worth dying for (fishing), but if we as people, are all fundamentally the same, which I believe we are, then how can this possibly be an acceptable pathway to a solution?
While the world is divided into nations, while people continue to identify themselves by belonging in groups, then unfortunately we will always live in a conflicted world.
I do take hope however, because whenever I travel and meet people, I have always made friends. Most people are not the problem. Most of us just want to live happy, healthy, free and interesting lives. And at least one of us wants to fly fish every day.
So there. Gone!! It was bothering the hell out of me. Now I can go back to fishing and training for my next Ironman in four weeks.
This week I’m up in Sungai Tiang. We have a group visiting from Ipoh as well as some government ministers. It may be raining. I hope it’s fishable – we are coming into the Wet Season, but I didn’t arrange the timing! I will be taking my fly tying kit and a couple of lumilines. And a big tarp and a chair. I will take my swimming goggles to swim in the river. And if the event is a complete washout, I will use it as a 3-day intense Malay language learning camp. But fingers crossed, the river will be fishable!!!
So that’s good. Now if you are planning a fishing trip between say Feb and April next year, and fancy jungle fishing for Malaysian Mahseer and Jungle Perch, with the local tribe, then drop me an email and I can help arrange. We have a website for them here that my friend Bonamy kindly built:
Also, one of the things we are discussing is the possibility of having a camp manager. This is an unpaid position. It would be for three months. You’d camp up the river, welcome guests, do the social media, which means daily uploads to Facebook and Instagram. And also a weekly video on YouTube. I’ll sort you out a mini Starlink terminal and solar panel. I think it would be quite an adventure.
You’d be able to fish every day. There is a lot to be figured out still on the technical fishing side. It would suit a young, active, adventurous, internet-savvy, certified fly casting instructor. 30 years ago it would have been perfect for me. This is a fantastic opportunity to fish this river. We think it would really help the local Orang Asli and get this wonderful fly fishing location up, running and promoted properly.
If this could be you, then please do get in touch. Instructor certification is not essential but would be beneficial. The river is a bit like trout fishing, but with fish that fight 10 times harder. You won’t be left on your own; Hantu Tetek lives here too!
Have a great week everyone!
Cheers, Paul