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Walk on water

"What we want is a man who is totally in love with us...
at the same time, we hate romantic wimps who suffocate us…
How can you (men) win?"

And that's from the smartest, most independent woman I know.

It must be a strange for a woman to find out that fishing is more important than they are but it's not like fish is another woman and Sean's girlfriend (for example) actually thinks it's quite cute. Of course Sean doesn't go fishing every day but then again he's not perfect like I am.

The fact is I have a whole list of things I put first: fishing, Sexyloops and running (surprise entry there I know). I may actually be the only person on this planet who thinks that this is healthy by the way.

It's been an interesting month or two and I know that Sexyloops has struggled. I've been having teething troubles with the new laptop, all my fishing gear and cameras have been pinched, I was in an environment where I couldn't be me and I've bust a knuckle in my casting hand. Oh yeah and I met Jesus.

But before I talk about that, I received a complaint today that I haven't managed to deliver the latest batch of Instructor DVDs, which is true. They will be going out this week; I apologise for the delay – it's not been a top priority of mine and I haven't been able to print labels, making the latest batch even more rough and ready than the last. Still these ones should run, so that's something different.

Hey look, I'm a man. I make no excuses for the fact; I was born into it. I'm full of testosterone and semen and sometimes I do things spontaneously and with a complete disregard for the consequences. What man out there hasn't punched a wall, for example? It's one of those things that separates us from the womenfolk – and I really thumped it one. Unfortunately I hit a buttress, breaking one of my knuckles. Still, it is good for my left-handed casting and I've been looking for a bit of an incentive – not that I'd recommend it.

The Jesus thing came as much more of a surprise. I'm not really into religion much myself – I've met God a few times, following the odd puff of Seal's Fur but I've never been completely convinced that it was real and not just a fantasy of mine. Lots of people do believe in God of course, so it may have been genuine, but Jesus has never popped up before. The conversation went a bit like this:

“I've been meaning to have a word with you, Paul”
“Is that you again, God?”
“No, but you're close”
“Exactly. Dad's not very happy with you”
“What did I do this time?”
“Does Merry Fucking Christmas ring any bells?”
“Oh that. I didn't mean it like it sounded; it was a joke”
“I know, but no one ever gets your jokes. Here, let me see your hand”

Now had that been all, I'd have been fine with it; lots of people believe in Jesus and he would have been a bit annoyed with me, but I went on to have the revelation that left-handed people were angels (don't ask). Even that I could accept but Guy is left-handed. And whatever else Camo-Guy may be, angel is not a word I'd use to describe him, ever. Despite anything I may have written in the past.

Still, I'm pretty sure you've experienced something similar.

I'm currently in the Te Anau/Queenstown region, fishing and catching up with work. I've put together the streamside tying kit – or at least I will have by tomorrow. This should prove interesting. Still no camera of course – so PoDs are limited. I hope to have that problem fixed soon. To use Sean's immortal words: “It's all about to happen…”


“So who needs waders then?”

Essential Bush Skills

The start of any flytying good flytying sequence involves squirting The Light of Apgai on your polyprops
Both alarm and curiousity set in when the polyprops start melting
Putting the lid back on the jar to stop *that* happening again
The flytying proper is underway
Notice the composure, that's true class that is
A difficult bit, you can tell that from the vacant expression
Essential bush skills: the third hand
Notice my hat here, it's quite daring
Snip, snip
I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here, but it's cool
Trimming an oversize hackle that appears to have become trapped in the whip finnish manoevre
Delicate precision work, the hallmark of any good flytyer
A sexy catch...

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