Traditional New Zealand birthdays always involve drinking Wilson's Whisky (yes they do indeed spell whiskey without the "e") through a Tim Tam biscuit, according to Guy - who, it should be pointed out, isn't a Kiwi and only emigrated here ten years ago for the fishing and "to get away from all the Poms".
If you want to have a traditional New Zealand birthday of your own, then here is how you do it:
1. The first thing you need is a Birthday. Not strictly essential - according to Guy. Here we are celebrating Lisa's seventeenth birthday. Hence three candles.
2. Bite both corners of the Tim Tam biscuit and ask someone to pour a generous amount of Wilson's Whisky into an upturned saucepan lid.
3. Suck the end as you would a bobbin holder, Ben.
4. At this point you should look like this.
5. Drink the whiskey.
6. Eat the Tim Tam.
7. Pretend you liked it, so that the next person will have a go.