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With apologies to Lars, Lasse et al.

Big black zonker, six inches long.

I'm leaving the EFFF, and returning the certificate; it's not for me. I'm walking away now. I could have walked away before, like most people advised me to, but I've had enough failures in life and it's one thing to fail something which you're not very good at, such as Biology, it's completely another to fail something around which your life revolves.

Sounds quite phallic, written like that.

I suppose I've never seen eye to eye with the whole EFFF business. I've been trying to change things, haven't been able to, have come to the conclusion that I'm simply wasting my time, and so I'm leaving.

But that's what the fish want.

End of story, and I'll close it with this quote from GF, which I found quite amusing:

“This also means, because you are now a FFF-Europe instructor you should dress properly if you demonstrate at a show in the future. Quotation of our testing rules:

 Properly dressed means:

  • all clothes should be clean and should have no holes in them.

  • long trousers, except at very high temperatures

  • proper shirt or fishing jacket

  • eye protection device (sunglasses or equivalent)

  • proper foot-wear (trekking boots or wellingtons if necessary for an outdoor exam) “

I just love it when people tell me what to do. So on with the show then, bringing you the very best in Internet flycasting, sporting a pair of flip flops and (hopefully) only a little ego.

Sage TCR 8 weight (yeah, got one of those).

The other thing I've decided is that I really want to write at some point – you know like Sean's a writer, although not exactly like Sean of course, that would be too much for this world, one Sean Geer is enough. I'll have to work a bit harder at it, but I reckon I could write books and not just on the Internet or in magazines, you know like the “real stuff”. And so that's what I'm going to do. Of course there is the convincing argument that the Internet is much more cutting edge than books (I use it all the time in fact), but people still do buy books, and so I'll write a couple. At some unforeseeable point in the future.

And I'll probably write about flyfishing, just in case you were wondering.


Anyway, I've had a bit of a move away from the flycasting just recently, and feel that I've pretty much done it all, which I haven't of course, but that's how I feel. I still have to make a video of course (not like that's about to happen anytime soon either), and there's a whole new section on flycasting just waiting to explode upon Sexyloops, but I'm most interested in fishing right now, and in particular catching some large browns on black Terminator 4's after dark. (Yes we've got to version 4 already)

It's not exactly “technical casting” either.

I've become a little obsessed by these large fish (five to ten pounds plus and I mean plus – so it's a worthy obsession), and I know they feed after dark – they've got to feed sometime, and they're sure as hell not feeding during the day when I've been trying to catch them –so I'm chucking six inch pike zonkers at them after dark, concentrating on the tails and sides of pools. So far I haven't hooked anything of course, although I did have a couple of pulls last night, by a couple of trout who possibly managed to eat four inches of fluff, but not the whole shamboozle (must have been the small five pounders).

The funny thing is I know this is going to work, and the fact that it didn't work last night, and that the only thing I managed to spook was myself (twice), that it makes me completely unsociable, and that I've never caught trout on a four inch zonker let alone a six inch one, doesn't concern me in the slightest. I'm sure that one of these nights I'll have an incredible experience and then I'll have to keep it a secret.

I probably won't even tell Sean in fact ;)

No holes in your clothes indeed… how are you going to put them on then?

I just love Carlos' section BTW; it's pure inspiration. Carlos is a founding member of the CNL, the Spanish Flycasting Certification program. A nicer bunch of open-minded people you couldn't wish to meet anywhere. Mind you, they get to drink red wine and eat olives with lots of Spanish women (that's part of the syllabus as I understand - as it should be).

If you are the centre of your world, then your world can only be as big or as small as you are.

Paul (dead or alive)

Postscript: On a personal level this entire EFFF thing has been a complete and total disappointment to me. I was hoping to meet new friends and promote excellence in flycasting. I don't have to be the best in the world, but I do want to be "one of the best". I actually think that's one life's secrets. Still, there are plenty more rivers to fish and it's nice to get out of this one. To use one of Deano's expressions: the best thing about that is it's over.

Essential Bush Skills

The start of any flytying good flytying sequence involves squirting The Light of Apgai on your polyprops
Both alarm and curiousity set in when the polyprops start melting
Putting the lid back on the jar to stop *that* happening again
The flytying proper is underway
Notice the composure, that's true class that is
A difficult bit, you can tell that from the vacant expression
Essential bush skills: the third hand
Notice my hat here, it's quite daring
Snip, snip
I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here, but it's cool
Trimming an oversize hackle that appears to have become trapped in the whip finnish manoevre
Delicate precision work, the hallmark of any good flytyer
A sexy catch...

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