So I am now the proud owner of a pink car. Ok, let's not be melodramatic here; my old one painted pink. I mean, what do you say? [..are you fucking blind? - well no, you don't want to hurt his feelings so instead you say: Fuck…and think, well this guy is even more fucked up than I thought; I thought he was only really fucked up before]
It grows on you after a while. The pink I mean.
Adam said: it would look quite cool if it was green.
But it's not Adam. It's fucking pink.
It's already been noticed, I try to sneak in, but I can't. So that's the start for a different season in New Zealand, isn't it? No more Mystery River X now, then? “Where's Paul fishing, today?” “Well I saw this fucking pink truck here, so that would be my guess.”
Rebecca - who also had something to do in this - and no small part either - just asked me what's my favourite bit?
“Good question Bex, Can I think about my answer? - it's not the wheel hubs, I know that. That bit I only quite like. It may not also be the fact that it is fucking pink either. That may not be one of my favourite bits either... Why do you ask?”
Deano thought it was funny. Said that he more he thought about it the better the idea sounded. The worst part about it is that he thinks he's done me a favour and actually wished me a happy birthday today. It's not even my birthday, Deano. When is yours, by the way?
So I guess I have the choice: to unleash this “present” or paint it black.
Will I get laid more? Well yes, of course; I'll get laid lots more, only maybe not by women. Will I catch more fish? Well actually I asked myself this question first. No, no I won't catch more fish.
Is it a good thing? Well I know that it's given me one of the best laughs in years. If all I have to do is walk around the truck to piss myself then yep, it's very funny. Obviously it's not my first choice in colour. Me, I'd go for something more subtle, a forest green or a navy blue perhaps; pink, I think, would have been my last choice. But since Deano has chosen pink - for fuck's sake - then I have to ask myself a few things. Why pink, and not canary yellow for example?
Deano obviously is colour blind.
So the question is how do I handle Hechte Pete - the Eastern European body-builder, who is named after a fearsome fish, who will be joining me this month, for a month of fishing and living in the truck? Will this be an unexpected problem? Does Hechte Peter like pink?
Obviously I'm going to thrash it harder now. I'm not sure how exactly, but I'll really have to fuck it up to place my stamp back on it. You don't notice the dents any more, not now that it's pink.
Deano, what you have done here, is not just some simple, bucket-of-water practical joke- instead we have a global audience. Our global audience expects retaliation. And they know that good all-round, fair but devastating, retaliation doesn't happen immediately or overnight, but takes time. We have time. And when you least expect it, I'll be there, wishing you a “happy birthday” too. So that's something to look forward to. It's good to see you again, brother.