We are a family and we all get along just fine , the odd time some us may get bashed around a bit, though its not like fiscal abuse. 

It’s always accidental and we all seem to be able to handle it.

We’re definitely not racist, we used to be black and now most of us are white, one of us in always trying to hide and he’s camouflaged, I’m not sure what our owner was thinking at the time – fair enough maybe the fish will not see him or his owner, though its actually hard for us to find him as well, especially if he’s been laying down in the grass, which he knows he should not. Though when we find him we are happy and have fun. 

We hang out in a small town called Athol, in Southland, New Zealand.

It’s not that we really wanted to go there and live; it was our owner’s decision, though we all agree there could be worse places to live. To make us happy our owner built us a new New Zealand fly fishing school & room, with lots of new teaching toys and he even planted out an area where we can work our magic at fucking up people’s casts, especially people who think they are much better than they are.

Like our owner, he has a lot to learn, last year he fucked off to Malaysia – he was meant to learn a lot about casting from his friend Mr Sexyloops, though instead  he fished his balls off and drank beer and did not really come back with any new fancy skills as we thought he would, so when he took us out in the garden just before the guiding season in New Zealand started in October, we really fucked with him and tied the leaders and the odd time the fly line in a knot. None of us laughed until he put us away.

One of the reasons we did this to him was that he had taken Mable the 5 wgt HT Instructor with him and she never returned with him. Lucky for him she came back on her own accord with her name tattooed on her butt section and some even more sexy fluoro orange rod wraps – she had been away to Malaysia and then back to Lee in the UK to fondle and bondage up; sexified. Apparently he’s a married man, so I’m not sure if his partner knows what he actually gets up to in his man cave in the back garden but Mable said he had good hands and she liked getting the tattoo on her butt from him.

The trout guiding season was over for our so-called  master Stu and he’s got this new idea to write about adventure fly fins travel – he’s always been a fucking dreamer. Within two days he decided to head off overseas and we thought great, we knew the girl looking after the online fly shop side of things was going to leave us alone and we thought, great, we will allege to be like bears and hibernate.

Though that did not sound like too much fun for Mr  skull and cross bones 5 & 10 wgts; they were itching to get the hell out of Dodge as they say! They hoped and waited until the last minute – waiting on our new edition to the family coming, Kiwi 4 wgt HT, though apparently he had been forgotten about and was now currently being painted white and then shipped to the UK to be fondled.

So two of us were squashed into a rod tube with a sage 4 wgt rod for a hell of a trip, we left the other three Hot Torpedos behind waiting on Kiwi 4 wgt and some new spare tips to arrive. Mable did not have a spare tip and camo did not so they were getting left behind, too risky to come on holiday our owner decided without a spare tip, as he’s pretty reckless when it comes to working us and bending the shit out of us, let alone bashing us around.

So we are here, back in New Zealand waiting on our family to be reunited and we can’t wait . We did get a postcard of the two skulls laying beside real fresh tiger prints in the jungle in Nepal and now we hear they’re in a remote valley in Northern India up to no good. 

What ever happens we hope that they bring us back some duty free, that’s all we really care about.

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