For years I’ve been hearing those strange words spoken about me, and I’m quite proud of them, but the truth of the matter is that I have magic powers.
I don’t consider myself to be a trout torpedo – those fish just don’t wiggle my tip. However on those rare occasions when I do fish for them, I always catch the biggest one in the river. For example 11.5lbs out of a Varzina River tributary in Russia – not only the biggest brown trout that my casting bitch has ever seen, but the biggest fish in the entire river! I did that and I did it using magic.
He has an ongoing fantasy for Giant Snakehead. Anything over 5KG is considered a trophy when it comes to these tough mean ugly slimy bastards. I’ve had three over 6KG, including the biggest of 6.8KG which happens to be – surprise surprise – yet another fish I caught with magic.
Yes, I may have cannon-like properties and I’m not without a large dose of finesse, but my true area of expertise lies in magic. I dabble in there-is-no-four: kinetic magic (obviously), illusion, necromancy and conjuration.
Those last two being particularly useful for Imaginary Saltwater Flyfishing, where I have an ability to hallucinate large bonefish zombies on the flats.
Put me within casting distance of your average toilet bowl – anything up to and often beyond 140 feet (less of course if I have to cast through a window) and I will catch you a fish bigger than anything you’ve ever imagined!
Take care – I have been known to turn danglers into princes, or sometimes toads.