Steven’s Ex sEXy Six.

Hi Paul,

Do you remember me? I’m Stevens Sexy Six.

Well should I say used to be. I can recall the days when my final coat of varnish was delicately stroked on to my laid bare body at the warming hands of Trevor/Lee (I think this one was Trevor but I could be wrong!) but alas you succumbed to the human’s curse that is money and I was hustled into a long skinny sock and stuffed inside a tube. After several months of in-depth conversation with my social worker I have decided to believe that you only did this in a vague attempt to prepare me for what was to come…

After the mindfuck that was stuffing episode I was soon on my way and after some delivery chaos I was thrust into the hands of my proud new owner. This is where the journey really began.

It was a case of love at first sight for my new owner. Who shall, from now on, be referred to as Steven. I have lots of other names I would like to reference him by but this is a family site…

Steven quickly strung a line through my rings and took me to the field. I could see the elation on his face when he immediately realised that I was all that he had dreamed of and more!!!!

Unbeknown to me at the time, these first few casts were to be the start of a love affair that for me at least has seen its ups and downs, which would inevitably end with me being less sexy and more of a filthy fish slaying backstreet whore – and I must admit I like it ๐Ÿ˜Ž

My first shot at real world fishing. Which if you are not aware is why I was made in the first place ๐Ÿ™‚ was chasing temensis peacock bass in the freshwater inpoundment dams of Singapore. I was bombing out poppers and streamers all day long and I could tell that Steven was delighted after I had subjued numerous bass with ease but for him the best was yet to come…

As Steven’s damsel pattern was slowly sinking through the water column the line went tight and all mother of hell broke loose. Oh shit!!! I thought. This must be one of those giant gourami that Paul was telling me about before he so lovingly stuffed me. And sure it was, a nice fish around 3kg and handled beautifully by yours truly ๐Ÿ˜Ž

Since then I have travelled the world with Steven catching all sorts of weird and wonderful shit. From Haruan in Malaysia (these are the smaller brother of the things Paul’s obsessed with), to single handed spey casting for salmon in Far East Russia and I have taken everything thrown at me in my stride ๐Ÿ‘

Speaking of thrown at me, this is where I have to be (after consultation with my therapist) open and honest about my owner. To put it politely he is downright rough handed, he has carried me on wiper blades, trolled me on a jet ski, wrapped me up in used underwear and has somehow managed to ding one of sections. To say he is a horrible bastard to me at times would be a serious understatement. My boss tells me that I’m a credit to the company. Many inferior dogs would have imploded long before this point!!!

This behaviour from him his complely unfounded and quite frankly down right disgusting. Especially when here I am lying in wait, lusting to hear that familiar ziiiiiip, that signifies its time for me to go to work. Like Stevens old bullmastiif, I am quiet and subdued but be aware like she I am also fiercely loyal. I quietly go about my business. Day after day, cast after cast. Without the slightest hint of distemper or fatigue. I guess it could be argued that all of this played a major part in not only Steven but also his Dad now have the full suite of Torpedo’s. This makes me happy ๐Ÿ™‚

But alas that is all from me for now and as the boss launches out the final arrow sharp loop for the day. I’ll be hanging there in the grip of my owner, dreaming about the next time that Steven and I can have this much fun again.

Yours faithfully,
Steven’s no longer Sexy Six.

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