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Monday: Paul Arden
Tuesday: Harps
Wednesday: Bernd Ziesche
Thursday: Mr T.
Friday: Ray
Saturday: Viking Lars
Sunday: Bruce Richards

Ronan's report

Hawthorn flies were out in force today. They were splattering the windscreen as we drove out to the coast, making me think I should be out fishing instead of accompanying my nearest and dearest on a trawl of craft shops and art galleries.

Still, Hawthorn flies are notoriously unpredictable. They're terrestrials, so whether or not they end up in the water really depends on what the wind is doing. Sometimes the air can be full of the big black leggy insects and not one will touch the water, and the trout will sit there tight-lipped as if to say "well, if the Hawthorns aren't playing neither are we".

But just occasionally the flies, which aren't great fliers, crash land on the water in good numbers and the trout have a ball. Must be a bit of a bummer that: Being classified as "a fly", and then not being very good at it - the flying bit that is.

I've just looked up Hawthorn Flies. They're a member of the Diptera order: Bibio Marci.

Most of the time I'm pretty utilitarian when it comes to naming insects. For me most mayflies are "Olives" and are distinguished by their size and appearance, as in "they were taking #16 light olivey/brownish duns" or "there were tons of #14 rusty brown spinners about this evening".

Once you start getting picky you're suddenly looking for the particular shape of a hind-wing, whether an upper leg segment has a stripe on it, or even a pattern of veining on the wing itself. That's not something I can do nowadays without the aid of some kind of optical enhancement. The same goes for tying on flies – anything below a size 10 is a struggle.

So I have one of those flip-down magnifying gadgets clipped on to the peak of my hat. It's brilliant! I can tie on a #18 muddy-green/pale grey-winged dun imitation in a trice. And if I can catch a dun in the air I can see that it has lots of veins in its wings, an odd shaped hind-wing, and that it is indeed muddy-green with pale grey wings. So that's all right then.

All of this must be a bit of a disappointment to my Dad who, in his early career was an entomologist. He specialised in classifying Corixidae species (you do this, apparently, by counting the hairs on their legs) but he's no slouch on other insects.

One of the things I did pick up from Dad was the correct way of pronouncing Caenis, the tiny mayflies that mesmerise trout in their mid-summer millions.

It's "See-nis". Not, as I often hear it, "Kay-nis".

That sort of thing can start major arguments, and end long-term friendships.

So maybe a "tiny ****ing bug that I can't see to tie on" is the best option.

Sorry Dad.

Will

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