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Ronan's report

Thursday 20th January, 2011

l am sure many of you can well recall some very funny experiences during your years frequenting trout waters, well l have certainly had my share l can tell you and would like to recount this one.

Many years ago a friend and l decided to go fish a privately owned trout water which consisted of a number of lakes. There were limited numbers of anglers allowed perday on the water, fortunately for us we were the only two that day.

Fishing was good with many fine rainbows, that l well remember, it was one of those waters that you could stalk big fish.

My friend came from the far side of the lake and informed me he needed to find the crapper in a hurry, which was a good walk away, he informed me he did not think he could make it, l told him to go back up in some of the bushes that surrounded the fishery. Now l could see by the way he was walking that he had shall we say a tight grip on the situation. Thought no more about it until, he came crashing out of those bushes. What the F are you up to. He tells me he has to go back home as he had a unfortunate experience whilst in the bushes.

Apparently he had dropped his waders and pants and was in the crouching position ready to go and a rabbit jumped up, which startled the shit out of him just at the wrong time, you guessed the rest, a deposit was made in his pants, not the type you can just shake out, far from it.

He then decided we should pack up fishing so he can get home. Now we were are not close to this water, a good two hours if l remember. I tells him, no problem you go back by yourself, drive my car, what you expect me to do , aside from the fact l have no wish to sit beside you with that smell going on. He took off. What he did do was to find a public washroom on the M4 and clean himself up, walked into a clothing store with waders on and bought some new pants. Then returned for the rest of the days fishing.

Get many jokes sent to me, this one cracked me up

Wives can sometimes be very direct with their speech.

If everyone would agree with me, then they would all be correct


My wife and I were at home watching television. I had the remote and was switching back & forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.

She became more and more annoyed and finally said:

You already know how to fish."

Off to New Jersey tomorrow. Have a great week and watch out for rabbits.


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