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Ronan's report


Friday 4th June, 2010

Well spring has finally hit here in SWAB – South West Alberta. Do not look at your calendar it lies, the snow has started to melt and the rain has stopped, we had snow last weekend and lots of rain for most of the week here! I am off to do some Trout Unlimited stream work this Saturday and fishing until Monday maybe.


Well in the same breath I can say that summer is damn near here, now I am a married man, but and there is always a but, that is always subject to change with out notice due to the very nature of my piscatorial pursuits, I fall starry eyed in love every summer with a stretch of river or several rivers and even some streams, I plan to concentrate on streams this summer, I for sure will be dating some lakes, with all these extramarital affairs you can see why my marriage status is subject to change, hell I may not even be made aware of the change until hunting season!


My wife of the moment sometimes, what’s her name, says that I am old, and forgetful, as in I forget to come home, and that there is a life other then Fly Fishing, so that is why I have included this….


THIS IS WHY WE LOVE OLD PEOPLE


A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.


On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.


While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?'


The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'


The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'


'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.


On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'


The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'



The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'


The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens'!


And a few burning questions..



Where do we find the answer to "how to understand women”?


If love is blind, then why is lingerie so popular?


If friction creates heat, how many times do I have to fornicate to boil a kettle?


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