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Friday January 15th, 2009

"ANGLERS IN AGONY"
WITH AUNTY MARJE

Dear Marje

I have been fly fishing with an early seventies Scragged Mullet for several years now and, inspired by your recent tips on pedicures for busy angling guides, I have decided to get a more effective haircut. What advice can you give me on the kind of hair styling that will significantly improve my angling success?

Yours Sincerely
Gerald H Pilecast, Pinner, London.

Dear Mr Pilecast

By deciding to drop the Mullet you have bravely taken the first difficult step in the search for a new you.....and it is much to your credit. Too many anglers keep trying the same old hoary hairstyle every time they visit the water. In some cases this can lead the unwary angler into a terrible rut with a prolonged period of lost confidence…and…there is a very high risk of encountering what we know in the profession as a "HAIR CRISIS".

Trapped in the throes of these vicious psychotic episodes, fisherfolk come to hate their hair and are prone to dramatic and sometimes wholly irresponsible alterations in style; many of which are likely to spook friends, family and, most importantly, fish, who have become accustomed to a more familiar type of trim and cannot be expected to react well to the kind of extreme tonsorial trauma that can result from this debilitating condition.

If you are troubled by your current haircut, please, please, try to avoid changing everything at once. Length, colour and style should ideally evolve over time and you must carefully observe the effects that each variation may have on your chosen quarry. As a general rule, however tempting it may seem, you should avoid sudden bouts of heavy hair growth as this can be extremely physically taxing for an untrained angler in this vulnerable state.

You may wish to consider changes on a seasonal basis, perhaps reflecting the colour or density of the bank side vegetation at your favourite fishing spot, (personally I have always found Andean Lupins inspirational in the springtime) and always, always, check out the styles of top anglers in the glossies, just cut them out and take them along to your local barber as a guide.

As you become more confident in the decisions you have taken in the comfort of the barbers chair you may wish to consider a riverbank trim when conditions demand it and, eventually, a small outdoor self styling kit will, I have no doubt, merit its place in your chosen tackle carryall.

Hope this helps.
Marjorie Whelpton Pills


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