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Friday December 5th, 2008

Ever looked in your skins cabinet to discover your pelts had dried and hardened to unusable sheets of unworkable leather…...

Ever found your capes hinging at the size 14/16 boundary leaving an unpleasing, unwanted and faintly worrying "cracked spine on a paperback" effect… .?

Developed over the whole of last week by ZA technicians, our new range of ZA "Knoxit Supple Skins" anti mummification products could be the answer to your cracking and creasing feather, fur and hair preservation despair.

Few amongst the general population are aware that many of the foods that keep us healthy on the inside can be just as useful on the outside. Thanks to the lateral thinking of senior ZA technician, soap tester and pheromonal bath bomb inventor "Dipper" Dawson, who observed Mrs Dawson using fruit, vegetables and common household products in a variety of quite odd ways, we have uncovered the secret to supple skins.

First take your dried and unworkable skin, in the current inexplicable absence of Mrs Dawson as a model, we have chosen that of an Elephant.

Place your Elephant in a suitable receptacle and soak in warm water for 15 to 20 minutes; while you are waiting you may prepare ingredients in accordance with the instructions in your de-mummification pack. Mash a number of bananas up to a creamy pulp and liberally apply to the Elephant previously soaked in warm water. Leave for around quarter to half an hour and then wash off. (Handy tip, you will need more bananas for an Elephant than a whole Elk and slightly fewer bananas for a Mole.)

As an alternative, Honey is also another useful natural softening product found in many a store cupboard. Begin soaking in warm water then spread a thin coat of honey over your Elephant and leave for around 15 to 30 minutes. After this time you can rinse away the honey with warm water, and then rub the Elephant with cool water or an ice cube.

We think you will be pleasantly surprised with the results!

NB care should be taken to ensure that banana pulp or honey does not come into contact with the feathered or furred side of non-elephantine fly tying items.

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