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Ronan's report

Thursday 3rd July, 2008

(1989/90 season I think, bloody long time ago now Sebba…..sorry its taken so long to get back to you on this, just found my notes in the back of some old book !!! (20 years old now but just as good now as they were then….)

Managed to persuade a couple of local chaps down in Magellanes to assist in the testing of ZA camp and expedition prototypes.We were recruited by a passing EC diplomat and his twelve year old son for a two week horseback sortie out into the “uppers” for a bit of a fish and a field test. Little bastard had a bit of a propensity for “lip” I seem to remember and his old doting pater had supplied him with a rather nifty crossbow that he let fly at the local hares, sheep, children etc which caused one or two difficulties along the way…

First night, as per….we identified a suitable Latrine area during daylight and briefed our passengers accordingly. Can't say I have perfect recall over all these years, but I don't think we offered any sort of advice on methodology or the like.

At some godawful time in the night we were woken by this kiddie wailing, I thought the little bugger had been attacked by a bloody puma or something the damn noise he was making. Anyway, seems that, having avoided the issue all day, things had become desperate in the night, he had donned boots, trousers and a wooly and set off for the “zona” where he had squatted and, in the dark, totally unaware of the awful potentialities of his situation, carefully dumped, copiously, and directly, into his jolly old ankled britches. Pulling up caused him something of a surprise at which point he slipped and took a topple which did nothing to keep the damage localised. It took a devilish long time to clean him up and calm him down. For some inexplicable reason, he held me to be entirely to blame for his embarrassment.

The next day I prepared myself for the daily clearout and, as I settled comfortably back against my carefully selected tree, buckled my arms into the prototype ZA Autogrip “Varitrunk” stabilising bars and opened my well thumbed copy of “A la recherché du temps perdue”,….. TGHUNK……a 6” crossbow bolt buried itself up to the flights into the wood about 4” above my fkn head and almost spilt the bloody tree in half………...The “Varitrunk” was rock solid Sebba,…. rock solid… and held tight against the tree despite my efforts to get away, very good test, sturdy bit of kit I'd say….


Laurence Furtlesham

PS. Look, is there any chance you could drop off a fiver at the Marauder old chap…in a bit of a tight spot if you know what I mean….and its bloody good gen on the “varitrunk”…. …..brush with death “in the cause” so to speak…..buckled to a tree…. stalked by a 12 year old Belgian with a blinkin'crossbow… got to be worth a fiver at least ….

Pic Of Day

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