"We are not amused."
"Sorry Queenie, I forgot that the milk goes in after the tea."
Queen of England: "Yes, we think you have been spending too long in our colonies, Sir Dude."
Paul: "Well America was a bit of a fuckup."
Queen: "It always has been, ever since we discovered the place and shot all the Indians. What's the problem this time?"
Paul: "Seal's Fur."
Queen: "Do you have any?"
Paul: "Of course, would you like to dub some?"
Queenie: "Dub some? Of course not, hit me, big guy."
Paul (passing the seal fur pipe): "Here you go Queenie..."
Queenie (takes a puff): "Wow that's good shit... Shetland Claret?"
Paul: "Finest roadkill money can buy. Can you pass some more tea, please?"
Queen (passes the teapot): "So what's next?"
Paul: "Canada. Well after South Africa, New Zealand and maybe Australia of course."
Queen: "Canada? I love Canada. Be sure to tell them you're British. Erm, Paul?"
Paul: "Yes your majesty?"
Queen: "Would you like oral sex?"
Paul: "Erm not today but thanks for asking."