The world's best flyfishing site.

December 2000

Firstly I apologise; this site was down for nearly two weeks. The reason is due solely to an amazing display of ineptitude by my (former) ISP (Force9/Plusnet). The full story can be found here:

-WHY THIS SITE WAS DOWN / FORCE9-

Due to an unbelievable series of blunders my former website hosts, Force9 also known as Plusnet, successfully deleted this site from their servers, throwing Arden World into a new realm of chaos.

I know chaos. I like chaos. Chaos has served me well over the years and has been a regular fixture of my life. A life without chaos would, I think, be extremely dull. But not having a chance to experience this at first hand, I can't testify for sure. However I am astounded that it has taken over two weeks to get the site up again.

I have changed host and am now revealing a *new and improved* site to you, with regular page layouts and an easier to navigate casting tips section, a fully operational bulletin board and an improved newsletter subscription routine.

If you find any mistakes in this site please email me them so that I can fix them. Getting this site back up again has been frantic!

Finally, I apologise to all my friends with whom I had arranged to meet in New Zealand. Due to the magnitude of the cock-up I have had to return to Australia and get to a computer full-time.

December News

Here is the December news as written before the downtime.

I'm writing this from a plane. I was in Noosa, as you know, but I was partying a bit too hard and beginning to like it a bit too much, if you know what I mean. Wine, women and song can be a very addictive combination. And not a cheap one at that.

So quite suddenly and dramatically, I realised that this is heady stuff and I needed a to get to New Zealand and have a break. Get some fresh air, breathe some new scenery, clear the mind (what's left of it) and besides my visa had expired.

Bummer!

Annoying thing that visa; it ran out on Tuesday. Had it run out on Thursday I could have booked a cheap flight over the internet with Freedom Air (life is always cheaper over the internet - blatant plug). As it was I had to pay close to double, and fly Qantas. It was a close thing; I considered staying the two days and acting dumb at the customs (like I do in the States - because it annoys they: 'why are these dogs jumping on you?, 'cos they like me?' - yes it really happened), but they might not have let me back in again, and that would have been a real bummer, especially as I've just bought another outboard motor.

So I am flying into Auckland. Of course I have arranged to meet many anglers over there who want to drink large and excessive amounts of alcohol with me, and no doubt 'enhance our minds, but that's the New Zealand fly fishing scene for you.

Triathlon

Of course you may be wondering how this all fits with the Triathlon. It is true that I have met triathletes who don't know how, or just don't care to party. But I think this is a pity. Triathlon is all about messing up your mind; run for 6 miles and slip in to a trance, do 20 and hit the wall.

My Noosa Tri time this year was 6 mins quicker than last year. I expected better still, but didn't spend enough time practising on the bike, I think. However it was a good trip.

Noosa '99
Noosa '99 2:21:53

Noosa '00
Noosa '00 2:15:50

(Times differ due to staggered starts - in case you are wondering!)

As you can see I am again experimenting with the sunglasses thing.
Here are the results:

  • Chatsworth Angling Fair - go without sunglasses

  • Noosa Tri finish line - go with.

Pretty convincing I'm sure you'll agree.

Website

I was hoping to amaze you with an improved site this month, but I tend to lead my life much quicker than everyone else, or if not quicker, then slower, but whatever, definitely at a different speed, and this makes it impossible for me to determine when exactly things are going to happen (if at all).

Of course, as interesting as this phenomena is, it is nothing compared to Force9. For those who are lucky enough not to know them let me explain; they are my Internet Service Provider. They are the guys who I pay to make sure that this site is always available to you, and who are responsible for efficient mail delivery. Yes they are. Although why I am telling you this, when I should be explaining it to them I dunno. Anyway I also pay them for customer support.

Customer support

This is the sort of thing I mean...

I wrote:

Hi
I emailed before but haven't had an answer. I am trying to install Post Office into my cgi-bin.

I need to know the absolute address of

(a) my homepage
(b) my cgi-bin

I can't find this info on any of you help pages, this is not to say that the info isn't there, just that I can't find it!

Cheers
Paul

They wrote:

Dear Paul,

The path to your homepage I'm not completely sure of, but trying this may work
/share/isp/force9/www/uu/username/htdocs/
(Where "uu" is the first two letters of your username)

The path to your cgi-bin is of the format
/files/local/home/yourusername/cgi-bin

Kind regards,

John
John Beaumont

This took me aback. Why was he not completely sure of the path? If he doesn't know why doesn't he ask someone who does?

I wrote:

Hi

/share/isp/force9/www/uu/username/htdocs/

This doesn't work. Can you please get back to me with the correct address.

Regards
Paul

They wrote:

Dear Paul,

If this is for a PlusNet account then all you need to do is change the force9 to plusnet in the below path. Many thanks.
Neil
Neil Davies

Back to me.

Hi,
this doesn't work either. Are you sure that this is correct??
Regards
Paul

They wrote:

Dear Paul,

Pleas post this question to the newsgroup plusnet.www.cgi, there will be many other customers who should be able to help you. If you can find no joy I will send an email to the engineers and get this clarified for you.
Hope This Helps
Kind regards,

John
John Beaumont

This one was a work of pure brilliance. It sort of said, 'hey look, we don't know, but by spending a couple of days on a bulletin board you can have lots of fun and meet new people. I was very tempted to go to their bulletin board and paste up the series of emails to see what happened. But I thought 'no, surely someone knows the answer.

So I wrote:

I don't understand why this is so complicated. Please ask an engineer so that I can get this program installed. I have a website manager who is absolutely staggered at this series of emails and is screaming at me to give it up and change ISP's.

Frankly I'm a little bit dumbfounded too.

Sincerely
Paul Arden

The 'sincerely' I felt was a nice touch. They wrote:

Dear Sir

More paths to try are:

(i) homepages = /home/username
(ii) CGI-bin = /home/username/cgi-bin

Hope this helps.

Kind Regards

1042

Now this is fun!
I wrote:

No. This doesn't work either.
Are you guys taking the piss?
Am I the only customer who requires this information? And why don't you KNOW this stuff?
Can you *please* get back to me with something that works as I am getting extremely tired of this.

Paul Arden

They wrote:

Dear Mr Arden,

Sorry for all the confusion from other members of support.

Homepages is - /share/isp/force9/se/sexyloop/htdocs
CGI is - /files/local/home/sexyloop ( this can be checked via telnet, when in crofters on telnet type PWD)

Hope This Helps
Sam
Samantha Curnow

And even this is only half right. I have managed to experiment and discover both paths. Unfortunately however, it has just led to a whole bunch of new problems. It often does, you know. So sod it; I went mullet fishing.

What with the fly?

Mullet on the fly

It happened like this you see; I'd had a couple of mullet on small wets and absentmindedly included this in a newsletter a while back. And before I knew it, I found myself answering questions on this issue on the Bulletin Board. Of course only having caught a couple of mullet does not make me an expert, so I defaulted to a higher authority (Nick Hart in this case) who came in with some nice advice. And then things got serious (as they do) and more info appeared, from 'Zulu'.

Obviously "Zulu" knew a thing or two, so we got into a conversation on the beasties. I had a link here to the start of the thread, unfortunately, however, due to F9 the bulletin board is down, but should be up and running again by the middle of the month. It's interesting stuff I think. But you'll just have to trust me on this for now!

Anyway I read this, got excited and before I knew it, I was down the estuary seeking out a special place I know. A 'special place' containing *large* mullet in numerous quantities. And better still, when the tide is out they get landlocked and can't go anywhere. I was optimistic to say the least.

Isn't it interesting how ironic life is; you find a special place with numerous large landlocked mullet, someone comes along and tells you how to catch more than you'd ever seriously hope to catch, and what happens? The river floods and swallows up your special place. Is it any wonder that we're born innocent and grow cynical?

Surfboard-flyfishing

A friend of mine is a surfing coach/bum/party-animal/melon-on-his-head-for-halloween sort of chap. We've been going out and doing the Techno scene and chasing chicks together. Anyway he tells me that there is a coral bloom. I don't know what a coral bloom is, but he seems to think that it's a good thing. Apparently there are many fish out there just beyond the breakers; fish, big fish eating small fish, and bigger fish (and sharks) eating big fish.

So I've taken up surfing. As soon as I can learn to get out there I'm taking my flyrod (of course this will be Feb sometime when I'm back from NZ - sure you can surf there too; they have good surfing, but I have other plans) and I'm going to flyfish.

Most people are just interested in standing on the board. Not I. When I tried it, just lying on the board was interesting. Lying under the board is also interesting and, as I discovered, it takes up most of the time. Sometimes, just when you think you've got the hang of lying on the board, a big wave will dash up and knock you off it, and the surfboard will hit you quite hard on the head in an attempt to knock you unconscious

Then once you have pulled yourself back on board, being especially careful not to slip off over the other side, you discover that although you have been constantly paddling like mad for the horizon for the last three hours, you are still only 15 yards for the shore, and in water no more than knee deep. Finally you grasp the idea that when a wave comes at you you should give up paddling and hold on, and after what seems like another hour, but probably is longer, you find yourself in very deep water indeed (good fishing, sharky-looking water) and then you wait.

And you wait. And wait. It seems like all the waves have up and gone and left you. The sea spent all it's energies trying to keep you from getting out into it, and now it's tired and you hang around waiting for a suitable wave to take you back in.

You're feeling a little bit sea sick now. You have been bashed around relentlessly for most of the morning, inhaled large and unpleasant amounts of salt water and of course you're hung-over, and as you consider whether you really want to be out here bobbing around, an almighty wave appears and looms over you.

You paddle like mad for shore in an attempt to, what is technically known as, 'catch the wave', only to discover that the wave has indeed caught you and is currently pretending it is a washing machine on a spin cycle and is pounding you round and round. It is relentless and obviously intends to consume you. At first you struggle frantically for your life, but later with less hope and, just as the world is turning black, and you have turned your thoughts to a peaceful conclusion, the board clonks you on the head and you discover yourself in six inches of water.

Whereupon you pick yourself up, slip the board under your arm and casually walk towards shore where you pretend that you had a thoroughly good time, and if you weren't a troutbum, you'd definitely be a surf-bum, and you're really stoked man.

Can you imagine all this entertainment and flyfishing? The mind boggles.

Xmas

Oops, nearly forgot! That's the problem with heading south for the winter; it never feels festive. But yes! only a little while til Xmas. Hope you've got your Sexyloops order sorted. If you're stuck for ideas, email me for advice on how you can spend your money. I can be very helpful like that.

Good ideas are flytying kits, Suunto computers and GPS toys. Of course these are just stocking fillers...

Happy Xmas!!

------

Postscript

I've just arrived in Auckland and I have been presented with a major problem. It appears that I cannot get data-connection here on mobile phones unless I go on contract, and they won't put me on contract as I am not a Kiwi. This is the problem when one company has no competition; the company in this case is Vodaphone

This means that I cannot stray too far from a terminal, which *severely* limits the type of fishing that I can do, i.e. I can't go bush for more than a day. I also happen to know that internet access through cafe's is pretty poor as well, as my accountant was here only last month. I could go on global roaming as in Thailand, but this is just too expensive - as in Thailand.

Still by combining running with flyfishing the backcountry should still be accessible.

As an afterthought; if you ever want to annoy a Kiwi (as I did when I found Vodaphone not very helpful) just say that 'it's better in Australia' - and say it very nicely, like butter wouldn't melt in your mouth.

December 8th

Well actually run-flyfishing will have to wait. I am back in Noosa, I have 24hr access here to a computer and this I need right now. Running around the bush with a flyrod, as appealing as it is, comes second to sorting out the sexyloops site.

I have paid for a new ISP and am busy uploading a *new* and *improved* version of sexyloops. You will find errors I think. Please email me the page address so that I can sort it out. Many thanks, I hope you're still with me and I look forward to hearing from you in the future.

Paul

Blasts from the Past

damn robots
perfect loop
accessories
who are these people?
it's wet
pilot
Now this is weird
if you can't beat them...
spiritual stuff
where?
turtle
New Zealand
Summer in England
Winter in Thailand
Phallic rocks... really!
 
Feeling left out?

email address
Subscribe
Unsubscribe


The old front page

damn robots
perfect loop
accessories
who are these people?
it's wet
pilot
Now this is weird
if you can't beat them...
spiritual stuff
where?
turtle
New Zealand
Summer in England
Winter in Thailand
Phallic rocks... really!
 
Feeling left out?

email address
Subscribe
Unsubscribe


The old front page

damn robots
perfect loop
accessories
who are these people?
it's wet
pilot
Now this is weird
if you can't beat them...
spiritual stuff
where?
turtle
New Zealand
Summer in England
Winter in Thailand
Phallic rocks... really!

damn robots
perfect loop
accessories
who are these people?
it's wet
pilot
Now this is weird
if you can't beat them...
spiritual stuff
where?
turtle
New Zealand
Summer in England
Winter in Thailand
Phallic rocks... really!
 
Feeling left out?

email address
Subscribe
Unsubscribe


The old front page

damn robots
perfect loop
accessories
who are these people?
it's wet
pilot
Now this is weird
if you can't beat them...
spiritual stuff

Return to whence you came
Return to home page