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Ronan's report


Thursday 27th November, 2014

Life is not always all hunky dory. I am at the lowest point for 2014 now. The economy looks like going to the dogs, my rich clients owe me colossal amount of dosh, my staff get lazier by the day because the end of year bonus disbursement is not that far away, I am being sued by two women who are crazy for the filthy lucre and bloody hell, the Royal Belum fishing trip is in December! I feel like bashing the organiser of this trip real bad, why December, why not November? I need the Jungle Perch and the Snakehead shit right now.

Making matters worse, I was supposed to go out on a date with a darling of a girl yesterday, but it didn't happen. Tried bending over backward myself to a slave status cooking dinner for her as I utterly did, nothing happened too. So I sat down the dejected body tonight in front of the telly hoping for something to save the weekend- then my whole weekend completely crashed - my favourite football team lost to a-bloody-lowly-always-also-ran-Crystal Palace. Good grief, that took the cake. I ended up with myself cooked in the end. My soul is injured and broken right now. I should get myself really immersed in the rugby world sooner or later, for a change. So if your name is Brendan Rodgers just don't cross my path. And if your name ends with something like Gaal, stay away from this Asian man. Best you go to Thailand, skip Malaysia. Life will be good there, cushty.

I think I should quietly divert my injured soul to something more civilised, discerning and manly so-to-speak, start tying flies for my future trips again. Tie many many many flies – as they say in China. Don't know how they say it Down Under, I don't speak the lingo, but that's not my concern at all. I have got a few trips planned over the next six months. Perhaps I should start tying again soon. Tomorrow and on the double, son! Soothing the soul, fly tying is like a meditation or praying. Don't you think so? If you are a religious guy, fly-tying could be blasphemous in many ways; you might not remember your god anymore let alone the mother-in-law, if you have any. If one is so focused on fly-tying, nothing else matters for that moment – be it one hour, half a day or the whole day. One is, as if, worshipping something that one is copying. One pleads to the gods of the fish for a good imitation, a really bloody good imitation- something your quarry will fall head over heel to-chomping it with gusto. As we have been told, a good copy of nature is essential in fly fishing.

However, I must be careful in copying things, just in case. I don't want to be seen to be as cheap as the Chinese as far as copying others' products is concerned. Cars like Bentleys and Roll Royces were copied in China sometime back. So the fly fishing stuff was nothing to them and still is. Take the moral arguments and sentiments aside, I still take my hats off to any stuff original, not orichina.

Lovely Jubbly
Irhamy the Guv'nor, Kuala Lumpur


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